the envelope

i have an envelope.
the contents of this envelope will change my life.
i will guard this envelope like john travolta guards his sexual orientation.
i've placed the envelope in 50 different locations, each time trying to figure out the perfect place. i needed somewhere that the envelope could be safeguarded from the elements and protected from thieves (i live next to newark). i've tried everywhere. i even placed it in the closet (as this has been a trustworthy stronghold for john as well). i finally settled on- actually i can't tell you... thief.
we all have fantasies- winning the lottery, retiring young, kidnapping winona ryder and chaining her to a radiator- simple dreams for simple people.
never in my wildest dreams (mostly consisting of chaining celebs to various objects *usually radiators, rocket ships, small explosives or the front of britney's car* for various reasons *they are goodlooking or more likely, i hate them* ) did i think that i would have an evelope with a document that held so much power.
remember how happy charlie was when he got that golden ticket (you know... the part before he realized that the whole chocolate factory might as well been a giant white van with willy wonka hanging a giant herseys bar out of it)? thats how i felt when i got this envelope.

it is with great pleasure and mediocre prose that i announce the fact that VINCENT GALLO will be in nyc on december 7th. and i have a ticket. i have a ticket to see VINCENT GALLO, and the hard copy of this ticket is in my possesion. you should get tickets to see VINCENT GALLO. we can all see VINCENT GALLO- the greatest actor, director, writer, musician, dancer, republican, painter, mammal, of this or any generation.

for additional information regarding this generation defining moment, i refer you to: http://www.rriiccee.com/